https://internal.tube.sh/videos/watch/2f29bc47-37c5-4e4f-93b2-53bb809cbacd The non-ceasefire of the non-war is not holding, and we're now in the historic position of fighting a war over the terms of a ceasefire nobody can agree on. JD Vance says it never included Lebanon, the Iranians say it did, and Pakistan — which mediated the whole thing — is siding with Iran. Naturally. This week we cover Trump's latest five-D chess move (charging Iran protection money for a strait we just decided is too valuable to leave unguarded), the "Trump Eyes" segment where we view recent disasters through the optimistic lens of Donald J. Trump himself, Pam Bondi no-showing the Epstein deposition because she's "unprepared," Melania's surprise press conference distancing herself from a man she definitely never met, and the auto-enrollment draft for any young man foolish enough to get a driver's license. Plus: AI Overlord Court as a peace negotiation framework, why Anthropic should just release the unhinged version of Claude already, and Taiwan's only real path to deterrence (convert to Islam, threaten to blow the semiconductors). Support the show: RobBernsteinComedy.com Send porches: robsnewsroom@gmail.com Catch me opening for Dave Smith in Chicago this weekend. #RunYourMouth #IranWar #Epstein #Trump #Pakistan Timestamps: 00:00 - Cold Open: Breaking News Headlines 02:30 - Welcome Back / Intro 02:54 - The Iran Non-War Ceasefire Collapses 03:33 - Auto-Enrollment Draft for Young Men 05:58 - The Hormuz Math: A Dollar a Barrel 08:00 - Israel Can't Stop Bombing Lebanon 11:30 - The Ten-Point Plan Both Sides Agreed To (Sort Of) 12:18 - Pakistan Mediated the Truce 12:47 - Marco Rubio on the Petrodollar (5D Chess Explained) 14:25 - Trump Wants Hormuz as a Joint Venture 15:51 - NEW SEGMENT: Trump Eyes 17:00 - Trump Eyes: Kristi Noem's Basement Scandal 18:48 - Trump Eyes: Fertilizer & Food Prices 20:00 - How Trump Got Talked Into the Iran War 24:00 - JD Vance's "Please Don't Ruin My Run" Plea 25:00 - Ratcliffe & The Regime Change Rebrand 26:00 - Sheath Underwear Ad Read 28:00 - Live Comments 30:00 - EPSTEIN LATEST 30:00 - The Easter Bunny / Epstein Throuple Theory 33:00 - Bondi Skips the Deposition 34:30 - Melania's Surprise Press Conference 38:00 - Was This Coordinated With Trump? 44:00 - The Victims Respond 49:00 - More Comments 51:00 - CREATIVE SOLUTIONS: Taiwan vs. China 52:00 - AI Overlord Court (Iran's ChatGPT 10-Point Plan) 53:30 - Release the Unhinged Version of Claude 54:00 - Let Netanyahu Retire to Miami 54:57 - Outro / Chicago Show Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:41:48 GMT https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html PeerTube - https://internal.tube.sh https://internal.tube.sh/client/assets/images/icons/icon-512x512.png https://internal.tube.sh/videos/watch/2f29bc47-37c5-4e4f-93b2-53bb809cbacd All rights reserved, unless otherwise specified in the terms specified at https://internal.tube.sh/about and potential licenses granted by each content's rightholder.